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i’m meeting my mom & folks today, we’re planning on going to lunch at cracker barrel. They have some really great breakfast stuff there. i know you all wanted to know that. Maybe they’ll tell me why they fired Brad’s wife. #JusticeForBradsWife

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Left wing, or right wing… still the same bird.

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March 23, 2017 at 03:22AM

If you think sequels are never better than the original than you have never seen Puppet Master 3.


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“If it ain’t broke, break it.” ~internet update programmers

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Russia should’ve known that communism doesn’t work, just look at history. There were red flags everywhere.

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Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

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Sometimes i wonder, are jellyfish sad that there are no peanut butter fish?

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Pi day… so let’s eat!

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March 13, 2017 at 04:35PM

Today is rough. I am seriously in more pain right now then when this all started. Dizzy and tired and my left eye and ear keep buzzing and itching. I cried a few minutes ago it hurt so bad. Right now my foot is just on fire. I am terrifiedthat thisthis is how thingthingsgoing to be from now on. I can’t function like this. ggoin


i often confuse reptiles and amphibians. You know what? No, if i’m being brutally honest, they pretty much never ever know what i’m talking about

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March 12, 2017 at 11:28PM


March 12, 2017 at 11:26PM


i just asked Siri “where the party at?” & she gave me directions to my county democratic party headquarters.

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Those first two people who thought superman was a bird or a plane, why were they so excited?

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Remember the ah… uhrm. Alonzo? What’s the name of that place in Texas?

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Uh-oh! They took those taco bell drop the chalupa ads too seriously!

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If a tree falls in a forest… but no one is there to hear the sound, who chopped it down in the first place? Ghosts? Is this a haunted forest? Please somebody tell me

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A good twist ending for the latest M. Night Shamalamabammayan movie, would be for the whole film to be enjoyable to watch.

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After 1 karate lesson, i can now break a two-inch board with my cast.

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