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So what do you think of the Robert Pattinson – as the next Batman idea?

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i once thought an ocean of soda existed… It was a fanta sea.

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“Last man standing” is the winner in most contests, but the runner up in musical chairs.

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When a stranger from Egypt e-mails you asking for money, what if it’s a pyramid scheme?

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Finally! i have enough stuff in my junk drawer to build a spaceship!

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“I fixed my blocked posts!” You fixed your blocked posts? “I wondered where everyone had been!” You wondered where everybody had been? “This is good to know!” Is it good to know? Or maybe it’s ridiculous to have 9950 friends if only 5 are allowed to see your posts. And maybe that’s an entirely different can of worms… “FOLLOW this post because it works!” *?* You say It WORKS?!?! How is a post like this supposed to actually DO ANYTHING?!!?! You say you have “a whole new news feed.” You’re seeing posts from people you haven’t seen in years… BY COPYING & PASTING MORE OF THIS SAME OLD NONSENSE?!!?!? Why do y’all keep on falling for this stuff anyhow? Here’s some of what i have seen reposted… “Here’s how to bypass the system FB now has in place that limits posts on your news feed. Their new algorithm chooses the same few people – about 25 – who will read your posts. Therefore, hold your finger down anywhere in this post and “copy” will pop up. Click “copy”. Then go to your page, start a new post, and put your finger anywhere in the blank field. “Paste” will pop up and click “paste”. This will bypass the system.” If you are reading this message, do us all a favor and leave out these copied posts in the future. None of this stuff will actually change your news feed. HEAR ME NOW, AND LEARN. Copying & pasting a status will not change any kind of algorithms on fakebook. It’s *only* when other users interact with you [likely after falling for the copy/paste] that might make things any different.

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Which is correct again?

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Dolphins are so smart that with a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the edge of the pool and throw them fish

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It’s awful when you plan a conversation in your mind & then when it actually happens, the other person in it doesn’t follow the scripts.

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While a dracula is sleeping you could draw anything on it’s face & it will never know

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Maybe the government shutdown is a good thing. Sometimes when my wifi doesn’t work, i have to shut it down & turn it back on again, to make it start working right.

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Whenever i’m walking and see a car at a red light i like to wave until the person rolls their window down. Then i say, “You know, you can’t park there” they love that

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It’s lunchtime… & now i believe pizza delivery vehicles should be equipped with a siren.

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i got skills! Like the ability to be wearing glasses, & trying to spritz myself with cologne, & still get it directly in my eyes.

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Why is Broad street so narrow?

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With all the world’s knowledge at the very tips of the fingers where we can find the answers to life’s most perplexing questions! Yet here i am googling “What would Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?”

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Many people like me are oblivious. But i’m just right handed.

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So you can’t fix anything by worrying… This concerns me.

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Did anybody take pictures of the super blue wolfsblood moon?

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How long do you have to be ignorant before you start experiencing bliss?

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So now that the “Finding Bigfoot” show is no longer on tv… *NOW – i found bigfoot!

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“Hestabuh” …all this time i’ve been saying it wrong!

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Slowly, Waldo’s wife & Carmen Sandiego’s husband… started to put the pieces together

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My co-worker said she wanted an air fryer. She never told me why you would ever fry the air.

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