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July 17, 2017 at 12:11AM

Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder is the best song MF Doom never produced.


Next time you order pizza, wear the same uniform as the delivery guy, & be holding a pizza when he arrives at your door, demanding that he ordered from you, & he’s got to pay!

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July 14, 2017 at 09:44AM

Speaking from a time machine, Richard Nixon repeated an older public proclaimation, stating: “You must pursue this investigation of Watergate even if it leads to the president. I’m innocent. You’ve got to believe I’m innocent. If you don’t, take my job.” He winked in recognition, then hopped back into the machine, alive with blinking lights, buzzing whirrs and smoke, moments before vanishing in a rainbow to the sky.


July 11, 2017 at 10:50PM

Say what you will, but it’s high time we recognize the true and deep kakistocracy our country has embraced.


Why so many ads for hospitals? Like i’d go someplace else with a health problem? “Ouch! Broke my arm! Let’s go to Lowes!”

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So i picked up this anti-gloating cream at walgreens… now i gotta rub it in.

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i just read online Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner signed a deal with Marvel, gonna be a superhero! In the newest “Ex-men” movie.

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July 11, 2017 at 01:49PM

Do not take NAME OF DRUG if you are allergic to NAME OF DRUG.
Is this a thing we were worried about? Allergic to nuts? Do not eat nuts! Because that advice needz to be implicit.


July 10, 2017 at 01:00PM

Home for a while to spend time with the cat. Molly is not like most. She is all over me rubbing and nudging and purring as soon as I get in. And she did something I have never had her do before. She went up the back of the couch, tthn curled up on top of my head with her tail lightly brushing my face, purring. She was like a hat made of kitty.


i don’t always make jokes about the table of the elements, but when i do… it’s periodically.

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All these reaction emoticons, & they still won’t give us a thumbs down!?!? Phooey!

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Is it weird how we have one hand that knows how to do everything, & the other just sits there like, “Durrr-i dunno how to hold a pencil hyuck hyuck!”

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July 08, 2017 at 05:47PM

Social media sites should have some sort of universal passport system for online friends so you recognize them by the screen name you know them from… how many of my friends on Facebook are friends of Fipi Lele? How many of you know Jazzsoda? Who is down with SEVS? Who is a Bangyard member? I don’t know so many people by their real name…


It’s so hot out here… (go on, ask me how hot)

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Rainy day at the lake…

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What is the rob base / nirvana connection?

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Do racehorses really pee more than normal horses?

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Random weirdo on your fakebook friendslist: “Don’t just copy and paste! Type YES, and share if you agree!” Everyone who reads aforementioned post: “No.”

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i’d wager that the inventor of the snooze button, never invented anything else.

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Is it just me or are there way more handicapped parking spaces than handicapped drivers?

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Saw a poor old lady fall down on the sidewalk this morning. At least, i think she was poor. She only had $3.20 in her purse.

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June 26, 2017 at 12:38AM

Terminator 2 was made for a budget of $6.5 million. According to this 1996 magazine article I am reading, this is a pretty outrageous budget.