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Confession: i have an irrational fear of disco music. It gives me the Heebie BeeGees.

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May 26, 2017 at 11:47PM


Annalynn (7 yr. old): “Truth or dare!” Me: “Yes.” Her: “That’s not how you play! You gotta pick one! Say truth or dare!” Me: “Truth or dare.” Her: “No!”

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May 24, 2017 at 12:59PM

Ever feel like you’re on a hidden camera prank show?

I walk briskly away when I pass the pottery Kroger has an entire row devoted to. Kitchen-ware and whatnot and a pair of employees are unboxing stuff when one drops some sort of ceramic jar or something to the floor, shattering that.

Okay… now to the bakery, where a clumsy old man swipes a bunch of pie halves in plastic off a shelf and one falls open clumping the pie to the ground.

Now it’s starting to get surreal. I headed to the line to pay and just as I hit the line, someone in the aisle behind me spills some glass jar of something to the ground, shattering that.

I mean, FOUR times? Technically one was a pie and only two were jars but it was absolute chaos and I’m not kidding when I say this all happened in under five minutes.


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May 22, 2017 at 10:37AM


May 19, 2017 at 06:23PM


Rompers for men!?!?! No. Dude, just… NO.

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May 18, 2017 at 02:55PM

Can you spin a tornado?


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May 18, 2017 at 10:34AM


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Why do people wanna eat “natural foods” – don’t you know that causes death? “natural causes”

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Only in the USA, do moms get a day, while sharks get a week!

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Dear mum, i owe you my life. Happy Mother’s Day!

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May 13, 2017 at 08:01AM

“The bathroom fixture you ordered is still waiting outside your front door. Let that sink in.”


i think i would have to pick the bee gees… “Stayin’ Alive”

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*Going through everyone’s status updates & clicking the flower emoji, because i think it’s funny. * * * *It doesn’t make me a bad person.

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Maybe i don’t have all the answers, but i got this. There’s a simple solution to all the troubles with airline flights lately. * * * * * * * * CARS. BOOM! Problem solved.

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That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.

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Tide race car stolen! Criminals made clean getaway.

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Here’s some other pics from jungle island miami that i hadn’t gotten around to posting yet! No order, because i’m good at organizing like that. feeding sloths & an iguana & petting lemurs!

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