Uncategorized

New slogans for United Airlines: “Board a flight as a doctor, leave as a patient.”

from Facebook
via IFTTT


from Facebook
via IFTTT


i’m guessing united won’t have to worry about overbooked flights much anymore

from Facebook
via IFTTT


Isn’t it fun when your i.s.p. is down & you call the robot voicemail jail that tells you to go online for help?

from Facebook
via IFTTT


OK online friends on fakebook & where ever else, i want some help! i was looking for something [i had found before] & it seems to have fallen off of the internets! There was this reeeediculous video of someone doing a parody/mocking “zamfir: master of the panflute” if you don’t know about zamfir, i don’t know what to tell you… He had a lot of infomercials back in the day. Anyone know anything about this?

from Facebook
via IFTTT


Was completely shocked barry manilow announced he was gay, i thought for sure he was dead

from Facebook
via IFTTT


i just read there’s no walmarts in syria, only targets

from Facebook
via IFTTT


April 08, 2017 at 06:31PM

Were all of Inspector Gadget’s cyborg parts voice activated?


from Facebook
via IFTTT


How is it that chocolate is a flavor of milk, *AND milk is a flavor of chocolate? i ask the tough questions.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


i say whoever first came up with the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!

from Facebook
via IFTTT


If you think the microwave spying on you is bad… the vacuum cleaner has been gathering your dirt for years.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


Most of you don’t know that i had a twin brother. i say *had in past tense,because he just wouldn’t admit that he was my evil twin. Had to kill him.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


It’s amazing how a kid can be told, “It’s bedtime” & react, “Not yet” – like it’s some kinda negotiation.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


The trouble with being punctual is how there’s nobody is there to appreciate it.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


Who was General Tso? And why was his chicken so delicious?

from Facebook
via IFTTT


Does whitman’s make chocolates, or is it only just the “samplers”? Suppose you wanted to have 100 – of just one kind of chocolate? And those coconut creme things? Blecch!

from Facebook
via IFTTT


You never see sweatpants with “classy” printed across the butt anymore.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


“Like a fish out of water” is a very odd term – because it’s almost never used to describe someone dying.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


So it’s true, if you’re home schooled, that means you only have homework. Never school work.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


My memory foam has amnesia

from Facebook
via IFTTT


Curiosity killed the cat. i don’t know why they’d ever suspect me.

from Facebook
via IFTTT


Was hoping all the news was about a new Wild West story… #GunSaga

from Facebook
via IFTTT


We’re starting April fools day early! It’s today this year!

from Facebook
via IFTTT