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There’s a Madagascar native in my hair.

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Lemur hat!

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May 07, 2017 at 04:10PM

How many Lowes could Rob Lowe rob, if Rob Lowe could rob Lowes?


Nachos at Xochimex cantina Miami!

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May 06, 2017 at 12:36PM


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Just thought i would send you along some good news today… The giant panda, is no longer endangered. i mean, it says this on the internet. It must be true.

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What thinks the unthinkable? * * * * * * * * * * An itheberg, of courthe.

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i’ve learned it is much less complicated than expected to remove the interior door panels in a toyota 4runner, like-when the drivers window’s stuck & won’t roll up. No joke. Did have some help from my 13 y.o. son though, that was quite cool. A friend of mine works at a local car dealer & has “fixed” this issue a few times, he told me the car’s been in an accident & he replaced all he could [up to a brand new door]. Yet when i got inside the door – everything’s identical to factory parts, without evidence of accident damage. Hm…

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Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight. – The Swiss Army

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i still don’t think it’s even necessary for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to wear masks to hide their identity.

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Don’t you hate it when homeless people shake their cup of coins at you? It’s like yeah, yeah, you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.

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Mayday mayday!

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pretty neat how head and shoulders becomes head shoulders knees and toes… * * * [when i run out of body wash.]

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Can’t find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly.

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We’re in this together now.

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They say a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down… WHAT IF IT’S INSULIN

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If you try to fail, & succeed… which have you done?

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Chuck Testa does not taxidermize pets.

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i’m convinced that if this delicate snowflake generation were actually in a zombie apocalypse, there would be zombie rights activists.

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So which is worse… waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it, or hearing them say “Come in” when you knock on the bathroom door?

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