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◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ Sorry, i spilled the doritos

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Wouldn’t it be awesome if piñatas fought back?

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When your status says you “can’t even” – i decide it’s implying you “can’t even… finish a sentence.”

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Her: “I don’t get mad, I get even!” Him: “Kinda sounds like you’re still mad? I’m just saying.”

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Hey if you get a message that says “Keep it going! Send to all your friends! See how many you get back!” And if you think of me… Think of me like i’m NOT your friend at that moment, please.

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A chip off the block, of your favorite school house, school house rock!

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this is chuck.

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You can’t really take a horoscope so seriously & be my friend. That’s what taurus apart.

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Already finished my chocolate bunny. Next year i wanna chocolate moose!

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Wow, a shooting attack at youtube. Maybe they should get rid of those ads you can’t skip after all.

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i think i can agree with that alternative to arming teachers with guns, the one that suggests we arm parents with belts & switches.

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leave your things behind ’cause it’s all going off without you excuse me, too busy oh, writing a tragedy these mishaps you bubble wrapped when you’ve no idea what you’re like…

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Seek help & solutions from that wise old sage, the trash heap. (Lessons i got from fraggle rock)

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Ah, the Masters. This is our tourist season. Why do they call it a tourist “season” if you can’t shoot at them?

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The vengabus is coming

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Why do i wet my toothbrush, put toothpaste on it, and then turn the faucet on it again?!?!

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i don’t know if i can explain this with any semblance of articulate words… but Chris Anderson was a good friend of mine, & this coming March 15th “El Guapo” concert at Sky City is an effort to honor his memory. It’s not about the bands, it’s not about making a name for ourselves, but it’s all about a higher calling. We’re serving a purpose, as the concerts proceeds are going his little daughters college fund. She meant everything to Chris, & we are seizing the opportunity to do this for her & him. When different bands, different people from Chris’ spheres of influence-we can come together & do this work… it is a good thing, & i feel happy & humbled to take part.

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So maybe Haiti would do better as a country, if they called it “lovey”

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i can’t help but wonder where hamsters actually live, outside of a pet store

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February 26, 2018 at 09:47AM

I bought my blind friend a cheese-grater for Christmas. At New Year’s I saw him at a party and asked him how he liked the present. He said it was the most violent book he’d ever read.


February 24, 2018 at 08:04AM

Wall Street losin’ dough on every share
They’re blaming it on longer hair
Big men smokin’ in their easy chairs
On a fat cigar without a care


My son told me he was going to see a play today, “the ire of Fran Dank” 😂 lol

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ACK! Ran out post-it notes! How will i ever remind myself to buy more?

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February 02, 2018 at 08:59PM

http://ift.tt/2BPwunI